Moving house

Moving house – does it get easier?!

Tips to surviving another move – the pack up.

Well hello there resilient and patient people.

Moving is an inevitable part of military life. I think that the day you unpack from one move, you are already thinking about boxes that need to be put to one side for the next house. Those curtains you love but don’t fit can be safely stored for another house. Or the extra kitchen utensils you seem to have acquired go in a ‘spare’ box, because the ones you have won’t last forever.

DECLUTTER once and then Decluter again

In fact, declutter every year.

When I did the last move I was appalled at how much stuff we had dragged with us, so every posting season I have been selling things to lighten our load, not wanting to panic sell at the last minute. We all know there is a panic at the end, but sorting little and often is good for your mental health and your cupboards.

I was told recently that every time you move the person estimating how much ‘stuff’ you have, adds on 6% of belongings for every year since the last move. That amount of ‘stuff’ can certainly add up. You don’t need to be expanding your family to keep expanding your belongings, so another reason to get things out the house.

MENTALLY PREPARED

However many times we have moved, we need to acknowledge that it is an emotionally challenging time. It is okay to run the gamete of emotions and feel in control one minute and have a total meltdoen the next. I have been reflecting on the reason moving house is so stressful and here are my thoughts:

1)      The decisions required are endless –

a.      you make decisions about what to keep, what to throw away.

b.      You have to decide on what you need while in transit and what you can live without

c.       The insurance form

d.      The doctors forms

e.      Does anything need to go in longterm storage?

f.        What do the kids like playing with?

g.       Will they still like these toys in a week / month year?

h.      Do I need a new colour scheme in the new house

i.        What school to chose?

j.        Where will our doctors be?

k.       Distance from base and a life for me, the spouse… does it balance.

l.        When do I say goodbye to everyone

2)      Every time you move you put down roots. When you leave you have to pluck them up and that plucking happens as things are sorted and sold, and as you say goodbye. It’s tough

3)      You can have the best support network in the world, but change is hard. Goodbyes hurt the heart and add children into all of this and your heart can break for more than just you.

4)      As a military spouse, you know you have to start again. Find a new grocery store you like. Find new friends. Explain where you are from. These are daunting, and even the most positive person might feel a moment of ‘oh no, here we go again’.

STAYING SANE

You can do this! You have done it before. You have your checklists you can add too.

The insurance document is key. Estimate wisely the most valuable items and if you don’t list everything, but say  dinner service, does the amount you estimate they are worth cover one break so lets say 100 dollars divided by 10 – does 10 dollars cover the plate’s replacement? If not, re-look at the numbers.

Plan time for you and your partner to regroup. While you may be packing up the family home, your partner has to also pack up and sort work. The ‘posting slump’ is a real thing, but it can leave you feeling disconnected from each other.

Try:

-          To Find time to sit down with a coffee and review the to-do list.

-          Go for a walk together when the kids go down (use a neighbour to sit in the house if needed)

-          Plan a date night or a lunch just the two of you. Don’t lose sight of each other.

-          Praise the efforts of the other and be specific – thank you for sorting the office, or ‘thank you for organizing the school paperwork.’

-          Don’t be afraid to ask for recognition if you feel nothing is coming your way. Open and honest discussion in the thick of a move is essential to keep you moving forward together.

-          If you fight, know you will not be the only people having a tough time in ‘THIS’ moment. It wont’ last forever and we all need to let off steam with the person we love the most.

-          Acknowledge the kids and explain what is going on at a level that works for them. They don’t need all the detail, but if you are feeling discombobulated, they probably are too. If you name how you feel in words they understand, you help develop their emotional language as well as model how to cope.

ORGANISING THE PACK

We all have different ways to survive the pack. IF you have movers who come in to box everything up, you can just leave them to it and pack a bag of your essentials… but we all know this is not going to happen!

Essentials to keep with you:

(the quantities vary depending on the distance of the move). This list gets you started…

-          Passports and all key paperwork (keep passports and birthcertificates in separate bags so if one gets stollen, you still have some ID).

-          Jewellery

-          Cash

-          Clothes for a couple of weeks

-          Toys for a couple of weeks

-          Chargers / adapters

-          Technology for everyone

-          medicine

-          Alcohol if you aren’t crossing boarders / using an aeroplane.

-          Keys for the safe or similar.

Maybe put these essentials in the bathroom – the place you will keep the movers out of for as long as possible. It give you more thinking time.

Sorting things for movers

-          I pack up my things imagining the next house and try to label the boxes accordingly. I might have things in a basement that can go on a main floor next time, so I would move those things in to the room where I want them to be unpacked.

-          My pictures, unless they definitely belong in a certain room, I like to pack them all in one place, because they will be the last thing I sort in the new house and they might look better in different spaces in the new house.

PREPACK

Some moves require a prepack. This can catch you unaware. The movers can be very efficient and will pack everything you tell them (including passports and things you set aside without thinking). They often get through more than you think they will, so make sure you have rooms ready for this. The garage can be a a good place for them to focus their attention and a kids bedroom… if you already have their stuff packed!

Have a start here, and then a couple of other places they can move onto. We got caught out, letting them pack the office in a pre-pack. Fortunately the passports were in one of two boxes out of 6 and we found them quickly, but that was a stressful moment!

Loading day

Part of any move is the load day. This is a slow day where there is very little for you to do. Cleaning if you are inclined and not saving it for a designated clean day / cleaner, but waiting and watching your things placed in the truck in a jenga puzzle of incredibleness. If you can borrow a deckchair from someone, do it, because you will be standing around a lot and waiting. You might also want to make sure you have drink and snack supplies for your movers. It is always good for you all.

Then your belongings are neatly packaged up, the house is empty and you will be racing your things to the next chapter and another blog.

You’ve got this.

Until next time,

Nicola