Moving time June 2024

Moving time

Hello Marvelous Military Families,

We are in the throws of posting season. For the last two years we have wondered if this year would be our year to move, but we have had it confirmed that we don’t move until next year, so for now we are in that place of mixed emotions where we get the opportunity to continue our lives here, but have some very hard good byes to say.

The hardest goodbye for me this time is the family we arrived here with in covid times. We became fast and firm friends because our 2 year olds were the same age, and in a small community where neither of us mums speak much French, we needed each other. My daughter was only 5month old on arriving, and now calls the little girl her best friend. Trying to explain that they won’t see her again for a few years makes me cry.

I also wonder if this impending goodbye is affecting my daughter’s behaviour. More on that another time, but if I feel sad, and she feels sad but can’t handle the emotions, then it would explain the sudden outbursts or frustrations.  My son seems ok. He has made friends at his school and at 5years old has more language to discuss his friend’s moves, but she doesn’t. A lack of words definitely impacts our ability to process emotions and ask for help.

So How do you help?

Good byes don’t get easier. I think we need to acknowledge this. It is also good to know that they have enjoyed the benefit of a good friendship and a firm friend, which means they can do it again.

While we will not see them as often as we have, we will keep in touch. The children can do pen pal letters, and I will randomly text the parents. When we are next in the same city, then we will be able to have a play date. Nothing is impossible, but nor is it every day.

I have also written a poem and added photos from our time together, so they have a keepsake and we have a keepsake of our time together. Photo books are such a good way to capture moments and let the children lead the dialogue. Not only does this help their language development, but also their emotional understanding.

It is good to talk about your own feelings and talk about the memories you will enjoy when you feel sad. Mental health wellbeing is all about sharing and supporting each other.

We have also planned time with other friends to show our children that they have other people in the community who love them, then when it is our time to say goodbye and move on, we will do more photobooks.

Military life is a series of good byes and hellos. Magical memories and broken hearts.

Enjoy my poem and the fact you too have made some special friendships it hurts to say good bye.

Time Marches on

By Nicola Webb

The time approaches, it marches on

To that fateful day when you’ll be gone

We arrived together, lost - alone

And in this time, together grown

Grown a family and friends and more

Explored beyond the local shore.

We found some snow, some sand, some castles

Helped each other and adored the travels

Played inside on a rainy day

Bounced for hours when the skies were grey

You took me to the gym – a spot I never went

Now it’s a place where time is spent

Three years were long and fast and slow

As we played and sat and saw our children grow

With friends like you our confidence shifted

And from this this posting new friendships gifted

Now the time, it marches on

That fateful day – soon to be gone

Our time remains but for a year

And in saying goodbye, Ill shed a tear

As we say good bye and we must part

Thank you for the place you take within my heart

And when we next get together

East or west, in any weather

Please know the warm gold sun will shine

We’ll maybe have a glass of wine

As we sit - reflect - converse

And learn about the time traversed

Thank you for the time we’ve had

So many times, I’ve felt so glad

We will miss you all when you do leave

And for your presence we will grieve

But life moves on and you will part

All forever in our collective heart

The time approaches, it marches on

And past that fateful day now you are gone.